Really made me laugh. Too funny.
But, in case your funny post holds truth I also want to say:
You look thirsty. Can I offer you a beverage? How about a nice snack. I have gluten-free alternatives if you so desire. This is all because I am a nice person and I just happen to also be (in my opinion) super-curatable.
Notice me notice me notice me. Is what I might be saying. LOL